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Joke of the Day

"Adam and Eve: The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions."

"One of these days you'll see the real me. Probably next week. I'm almost out of concealer."

"Good news, you survived the horrific car crash. Sadly we couldn't find the other guy's arms but we managed to reattach all four of yours"

"ZOMBIE MOM: Brains for dinner! TEEN ZOMBIE: Again?!? [slamming bedroom door] I wish I was alive!!"

"The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris."

"Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own'."

"I just completed a jigsaw of a penis in under five minutes. I expected it to be harder."

"If you can recite the alphabet backwards to a police officer they will arrest you for fingering a minor."

"What type of weed does a reptile smoke? Mariiguana"

"TIFU Don't know why she legally changed her name to 'Up' though."