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Joke of the Day

"My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics Turns out he was just exaggerating"

"Whats the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!"

"What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major. I lied about the wheels."

"They named a paint color after my ex... It's called *Whore Red*. It's not very bright, but its cheap and spreads easily."

"going to do everything the Nyquil bottle tells me not to"

"You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes"

"Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen"

"Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn't counting calories."

"When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces."

"1) Print out all your favstar trophies and fold them so they are 2D 2) Put them on your mantle 3) Invite dad over 4) Become favorite son"