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Joke of the Day

"Wife: did you know there's an ""I hate Jeff"" group that meets in the park? Me: yes I started it I am the president"

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention We hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

"Michael Schumacher. The second most damaging German fuckup in the French Alpines."

"My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I'm great at pole dancing."

"What's the difference between a musician and a large pizza? The pizza can feed a family of 4."

"Be nice to people on your way up so they won't get suspicious when you're rich and you invite them to your island to hunt them for sport"

"Punishment - joke A student is talking to his teacher. Student: ""Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"" Teacher:"" Of course not."" Student: ""Good, because I haven't done my homework."""

"A high-dea supported by evidence... Is called a High-pot-thesis"

"What is Hitler's favorite video game? Mein Craft."

"Group of 12 year old girls: We're scared of boys. Me: OMG, me tooooooo!"