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Joke of the Day

"Every time I make a poop joke, Dorothy Parker rolls in her grave. I should probably stop pooping there."

"What were the Crocodile Hunters last words? ""You Irwin some you Irlose some"" Then he dieded."

"Congratulations to Amy Winehouse For being sober one year."

"Who started the campfire website? Some bright spark."

"want to know why i didnt have sex last night? The roofie didn't work."

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you are on fire"

"I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus."

"[pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha"

"I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported."

"I don't believe in telling little girls they're beautiful. Or little boys. Anybody, really. The human body is truly disgusting."