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Joke of the Day

"Three guys walk into a bar... And their families are slowly torn apart by alcoholism. (Edit: typo pointed out by grammar Nazi)"

"They told us to get in formation So, I started investigating."

"Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread."

"Give a man a fish, and he'll ask for a lemon; teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Fridays."

"SOME DUDE IN A LAB IS WORKING ON BRINGING THE PTERODACTYL BACK TO LIFE SO ENJOY THOSE EVENING STROLLS WHILE YOU CAN!"

"A little girl asks her grandad... ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"Whats the least paying job? British dentist."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"

"What do you call a black woman who's had 4 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates, they'll kill your dog."