142375

Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to choose a Freudian therapist... ...but they're all sex of one, half a dozen of your mother."

"On their 30th anniversary Patty turns to Mary, tears in his eyes, and says Mary, you've added so much texture to my life... it's been rough."

"Hear about that 70s date rape band? Cosby Pills Smash and Run"

"""Put cheese on it."" ""It's not-"" ""Put cheese on it."" ""Really now, you-"" ""Everything gets better with cheese on it."" ""Sir, it's a BROKEN LEG."""

"like my grandfather did, i want to die peacefully in my sleep... ...not screaming and yelling like his passengers"

"Q: What's a little quicker than a shark? A: The Little Mermaid on her period."

"Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body."

"THE ROOSTER ALSO CALLED A COCK LOVES THE KITTY WET THE CAT FALLS INTO A BUCKET OF WATER THE ROOSTER LAUGHS THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS A COCK LIKES A WET PUSSY."

"Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for a night. Make a fire with someone and they'll be warm for the rest of their life."

"There are 3 types of people in this world People that can count and people that can't."