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Joke of the Day

"Paddy and Murphy walking down the street, paddy falls over, paddy says 'Murphy, call me an ambulance' Murphy says.. PAAAADDY IS AN AMBULANCE!!"

"A day with no sunshine is like..... night"

"My stepladder is so great, I'm almost glad my ladders got divorced."

"Can't believe it's been four years since we all pretended Michael Jackson never touched a child."

"Subway must have introduced a new Genius feature, because they just suggested I might like a drink with my sandwich. I do. Nailed it."

"Limerick There was this baker from South Carolina Who stuck an eggbeater in her vagina The cakes she would glaze In an orgasmic haze And her screams they would rattle the china"

"A man was masturbating for 48 days straight until finally he blew his load It was a long time coming."

"Horror Stories by R. U. Scared"

"If your tweet gets stolen and posted on Facebook... It's your own fault for not making it offensive enough!"

"What is a dogs favourite flower ? Anything in your garden !"