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Joke of the Day

"Paddy and Murphy walking down the street, paddy falls over, paddy says 'Murphy, call me an ambulance' Murphy says.. PAAAADDY IS AN AMBULANCE!!"

"Why did the blonde stare at the Ford? It said Focus."

"With apologies to books, tits are way better."

"Dinner When my wife asks me ""What do you want to have for dinner"" I never guess right."

"I just yelled ""Where's the baby?!"" while holding the baby. I can't believe it was legal for me to reproduce."

"Heisenberg is driving down the highway and gets pulled over by a cop... Cops says, ""Do you have any idea how fast you were going."" Heisenberg says, ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"

"I'm saving myself for marriage. Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage."

"Best way to speed date: ""What's your favorite subreddit?"" ""What's a subreddit?"" ""Next."""

"What does no one want but will always take Refugees"