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Joke of the Day

"Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won't be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that's what's been missing."

"Why did the Mexican lorry driver lose his job? He ate his tacho."

"Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey? He kept getting nailed to the boards."

"I think my friend is a racist. He's been known to tell a few colorful jokes."

"Jared and zits What's the difference between Jared and Acne? Acne doesn't come on a kids face until there a teenager!"

"I wish I had firearms. Or maybe one firearm and one regular arm."

"What do you call a gay drive-by. A Fruit Roll-Up"

"How to piss off a female archaeologist... Hand her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from."

"Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do."

"Did you hear about the monkey who was a virgin and didn't care? Zero fucks gibbon. (sorry)"