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Joke of the Day

"Your Mom is so old... She had to use her own face for emoticons."

"After a few bites of sunflower butter I've never been more fully prepared to buy a Prius."

"Where did the Martian put his teacup? On his flying saucer."

"I asked my Gynecologist about a Job She said they had a few openings"

"At my daughter's dance recital. Wait. I don't have any kids. I'm leaving. These girls suck at ballet."

"I used to be addicted to soap... But now I'm clean."

"""I tell you, this car runs like a dream!"" I change gears and the gearstick turns into a swan. I turn on the wipers & it rains on the inside."

"My love is like a candle, if you forget me, i will burn your fucking house down"

"Mc'Donalds in hurricanes No wonder McDonalds places are still open during hurricane sandy. None off their customers can blow away anyways"

"When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children. It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )"