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Joke of the Day

"On this planet... Every 10 seconds... there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped!"

"The faster I type in my password, the more secret agent-y I feel."

"What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work? The aftermath"

"If you're watching a Cops rerun and realize you've already seen that episode, you're officially no better than anyone on the show."

"I like to write ""Wake Up"" on my To-Do list so I can start the day off accomplishing something."

"making holy water is easy.... you boil the hell out of it but how to you turn that holy water back into regular tap water? You cook the bejesus out of it. *bejesus may be a local slang but i hope not."

"What's brown and sticky? (not a stick) My Beyonce calendar"

"A black man and a Mexican are in a car , who's driving it ? The Police"

"She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly. He (sigh): Ok It's...your ""signature sex move"" She: Judgmental Corpse?"

"Whats the difference between a South African tourist and a racist? About a week or so"