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Joke of the Day

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

"How do you make a salad wrap? By adding some beets"

"*judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*"

"What do authors do when they are being chased? They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!"

"What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's? A Friar"

"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. Riceless."

"so i went to the clothes shop to buy camouflaged pants... ...and i didn't find any."

"What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship? ""Okay men, get on the ship."""

"How Can You Tell When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer? The power is on and you're connected to the internet."

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktater."