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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me to stop playing mind games. I looked confused and asked, ""Who are you again?"""

"Given the choice between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, I would prefer Parkinson's. I would rather spill a little beer than forget where I put it."

"A star walks into a black hole... ... but it doesn't seem phazed. The black hole turns to the star and says, ""Sir, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."""

"Americans are just Canadians that someone fed after midnight."

"what's the height of trust? two cannibals in a 69"

"Well, it's almost time to show up late for something else."

"Why did the blonde cross the road? I don't know. Neither did she!"

"69% of people... find something dirty in every fucking sentence."

"What do you get if you cross the Titanic with The Sixth Sense? Icey dead people."

"What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon at? Tennish."