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Joke of the Day

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?!"" ""SELF-CONFIDENCE!"" ""WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!"" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*"

"It costs over 200,000 dollars to raise a child these days. And that's just for alcohol."

"My wife and I only smoke after sex; I've had the same pack since 2003. She's up to three packs a day. Rodney Dangerfield"

"So I thought I was going to buy a TV this weekend... Turns out I'm just sick of all these shitty forced puns on /r/Jokes."

"Why are Jewish movies different from other movies? Because they are uncut."

"While scrolling the front page I saw the most annoying thread ever It was coming out of the sweater I was wearing. That was my favorite sweater."

"HEY CALEB- YOUR COW IS INFERTILE AND YOUR SISTER LIKES DANCING. -Amish trash talk"

"Why being gay is a serious issue? Because men are fucking asshole"

"What's more dangerous than a serial killer? A parallel killer."

"Besides coke residue, what other particles can be found on dollar bills? Stripper poop particles"