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Joke of the Day

"[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] ""What did the priest have to say?"" ""He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."""

"Why was 110 afraid of 111? Because 111 1000 1001"

"What's red and smells like green paint? Red paint"

"Why do they say ""character actress""? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?"

"Sure, when a girl writes your name inside a heart it's ""cute"" But when -I- do it they call it ""narcissism"""

"Pepsi backwards... Is pep"

"So, a man walks into a bar... and he gets a bruise on his head. (Yes, I know its a bad joke.)"

"Gold walks into a bar Copper says, ""Au! Get outta here!"""

"MEDIC: ""Put pressure on the wound!"" ME: ""Hey, wound! All the cool kids are drinking and you should too!"""

"What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on? It twerked."