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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the narcissist who called himself Jesus Christ? He used the Lord's name in vain."

"Why do people say ""Be there or be square""? Because if you're not there, then you're not around."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... but a cop shot it."

"If we had gender equality we'd ALL give birth through our ass. And no more Men from Mars & Women from Venus, everyone would be from Uranus."

"Your Parents divorced because your Dad didn't want to put your talentless paintings on the fridge."

"If the quiz made you a little quizzical, what is the test going to make you? Really fucking confused."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."

"TIFU by hiring a registered sex offender as a replacement teacher Oops wrong sub."

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? Investigator"

"I found a girl by the train tracks and got head. I would've gone to third base but I couldn't find the rest of her."