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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by hiring a registered sex offender as a replacement teacher Oops wrong sub."

"Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school. But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home."

"if you give your dog a middle name i hope he runs away"

"Larry La Prise, the creator of the hokey pokey died this week.... Every thing went well with the funeral except putting the body in the casket They put the left leg in.... And then the trouble started"

"How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?"

"Me: So, what are your thoughts? Therapist: Well, I think you may have some boundary issues. Me: [In his lap] Are you saying I'm fat?!"

"there there son *crouches down & wipes his tears* its ok, dont go crying over spilt mil-- YOU GOT IT ON THE XBOX!? no NO. call 911. CALL 911"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr Dre"

"A man goes to a doctors office Patient: I have been having a lot of pain in my ear Female doctor: Sir, I think you have an ear infection. Patient: But u havn't even looked at my penis"

"What do you call a king's fart? Noble gas"