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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding."

Next Joke
 
"Judge : Anything you say in this court will be held against you. Man : ""Titties"" Lawyer : Fuck.. He's good"
"What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts."
"What did Michael Jackson ask his father's mother when she slipped and fell to the ground? Granny are you okay,I said granny are you okay,are you okay granny?!"
"If 5 black slaves had sex... Is it considered a threesome? I'm going to hell for this."
"STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION."
"Sharks don't like the taste of human flesh, which must mean they are drama queens who only eat people for attention."
"""Oh, you decided to close your bedroom door with me on the outside? Allow me to sing you the song of my people."" -my cat"
"I just sold viagra to a guy who thinks it's adderal. He's going to have a very hard test tomorrow."
"What are pedophile's favorite shoes? Vans"