141588

Joke of the Day

"Follow your dreams, do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life! Because they're not hiring in that field."

"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"

"What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window? Come back essay!"

"I'm terrible with directions. Fuck me, left?"

"Where do pens and pencils go on vacation? Pennsylvania"

"One of my favourites Women's rights."

"One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over."

"When my wife told me to stop imitating flamingos, I had to put my foot down"

"what's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a child? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"Which sex position produces the ugliest children? I don't know, ask your mum."