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Joke of the Day

"I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?"

"ME: Did you hear Jack & Cindy got divorced and he's dating someone half his age? HUB: Yep. He's livin the dream ME: HUB: His dream not mine"

"Debra is short for Debrassiere"

"There's a disease going around called these hands. You about to catch it."

"My cat hasn't used the litter box in days. I have no idea where, or if, he's been pooping. I guess I have some shit to figure out."

"How do you know when you are in bed with a witch ? She has a big ""W"" embroidered on her pyjamas !"

"Is it just me, or are birds really popular lately? I know several people who are having ""superb owl"" parties next month"

"TIL: Hitler was a very emotional golfer ...Every time his ball went into a bunker, he became suicidal!"

"I hate it when guys use pickup lines like, 'Hey, what's your friend's name?' on me. Worst pickup line ever."

"Me: ""Get me a newspaper.""Friend: ""Don't be silly. Here. Borrow my iPad."" Poor spider never knew what hit it."