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Joke of the Day

"Today is Steve Irwin day... Good ol' Steve, he even died with animals in his heart."

"How do you fit 15 Jews into a car? 2 in the front,3 in the back,and the rest in the ash tray."

"I don't know why they call it a period. At my house it's more like ""!#%* you, you piece of $&!@""."

"What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. "

"I'm not saying I'm bilingual but Brad Pitt is hot. In other news, I might not know what bilingual means."

"Have you heard about the Occupy - Treasury movement? Finally, an occupy movement that makes cents."

"What should we call Trump's newest scandal? Golden Gate."

"Jesus spoke to me yesterday... But I don't like talking to my roofers, so I had his brother Juan tell him not to do that in the future."

"My wife's fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman"

"The Week Off? Me: Sorry boss, i can't come in today, i have a wee cough Boss: you have a wee cough? Me:Really?! thanks boss, see you next week!"