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Joke of the Day

"I enjoy April Fool's Day because I like responding to fake pregnancy announcement texts with ""no wonder you've been looking chubby""."

"Ethnic humor . . . Q: What is the national bird of Italy? A: The fly."

"I saw this lady vogueing alone so I felt bad and started dancing with her. Anyone know sign language for 'Im sorry'?"

"Q: What did the man do after being found guilty of sabotaging the moon mission? A: He Apollo-gized."

"What does Harambe order when he goes to a restaurant? He gets the kids meal."

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually we had to take his bike away"

"The other day I asked my wife to hand me the news paper. She said, ""Silly you, just use my Ipad.""... That spider had no fucking idea what hit it."

"For some reason, the Disney movie ""101 Dalmatians"" was much more popular than it's sequel ""Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."""

"Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. That shit was bananas."

"Mom, why am I black? - Mom, why are you, dad and everyone else in the family white, and I'm black? - The party was so crazy you should be happy you don't bark."