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Joke of the Day
"[Michael Cera knocked backwards by ejecting toast]"
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"How did Mace die in Star Wars? Through the Windu"
"What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train the other trains the mind."
"""Mom, i'm in the hospital."" ""Jeremy, you have been a doctor for 8 years now please stop starting every phone conversation with that."""
"What do Romans say when their wives run away? Caesar!"
"Why did the bike fall over? It was too tired"
"A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel down the front of his pants. The bartender says, ""Hey mate, what's with the wheel?"" The pirate responds, ""Arg, it's driving me nuts!"""
"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."
"If you want to play frisbee Buy a frozen pizza instead of a frisbee And when you get hungry from playing frisbee Eat your frisbee"
"My Girlfriend crashed the car into a post today... It's no joke. The car is ruined and I am in serious pain."