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Joke of the Day

"Just once, I want someone to look at me and say, ""That's her. She's the one"" And not follow it with ""who ate cake out of the garbage"""

Next Joke
 
"Volunteer me to do something without checking with me first so I know whose mailbox to leave the dead squirrel in."
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"Who's Boss? Boss is like a diaper always on your ass and full of Sh*t...!!"
"So I saw that Princess Diana is trending on tumblr. She's all over the dashboard!"
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"thesaurus had the greatest vocabulary of all the dinosaurs"
"Sometimes when I say ""I'm ok"", I just want someone to tell me: ""I know you're not, here, have a million dollars."""
"If you show up to a job interview high and tired... You're hired!"