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Joke of the Day

"Why must you be religious to join the Navy? Because it's a place of war ship."

"Fell asleep next to a beautiful woman I met last night. I tell you what, she was PISSED to wake up next to a stranger... And that goes double for her husband."

"Why did Dave Mirra cross the road? To go to the Gun Store!!"

"Mom: Where're you going? Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends? Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter..."

"I just opened a new christian restaurant called ""The Lord Giveth"" We also do takeaway."

"My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died... she was attacked by a giant crab"

"I bet the murder rate is so low in Canada because you have to go 300 miles to find someone to kill."

"Now a days saving your virginity for someone ""special"" is like holding a dump to wait for a special toilet"

"Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long? Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter."

"What do you call a policeman on fire? Bacon."