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Joke of the Day

"Saw a sticker that said ""my son was an honor student"". I almost got sad, but then I thought maybe he's not dead, maybe he's just stupid now"

"Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day. Note to self, stop saying that pickup lines to the girls in wheelchairs."

"A Texan says to a Harvard student... Texan: where are ya from? Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions. Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, jackass?"

"I would show you a Liszt of all the music jokes I know... But to be Franck, I don't think you could Handel them!"

"Me: *breaks down door Wife: WTF ARE YOU DOING? M: HOME INVASION! W: OMG stop breaking our house when you want sex. M: Soooooo W: No"

"What's the number one cause of dry skin? Towels."

"I'm basically Switzerland. I'm cold and you have to get really high in order to truly appreciate my beauty."

"If Obama is a Muslim extremist, then how come he's a gay prostitute?"

"Donald Trump has been making headlines, ""Trump Taps Secretaries."" by grabbing Generals. He's come a long way from grabbing privates."

"Sanders is blaming Trump for violence at his rally... because you can't truly be a National Socialist until you can excuse your brownshirts violence."