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Joke of the Day

"Note to self: ""rubber"" in the US does NOT mean ""eraser"". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!"

"Someone is yelling! The voice is familiar... How they rave and they rant! Is it Jackman? Or, Laurie? Hefner or Grant? - Horton Hears a Hugh"

"Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn,..... Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn, I can hear it in the kitchen. Husband: I'm not, it's Sharapova vs Serena."

"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."

"I like to skip my digestive system and just place my Chipotle burrito directly into my toilet."

"An average person has sex 300 times a year. The next 10 days are gonna be sick."

"I will be watching Santa's journey on Norad's website very carefully this year. If he goes to West Africa before coming to the UK, I'm bricking the chimney up."

"Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather? He made him an offer he couldn't understand."

"Excited for Tuesday. Inception is releasing a DVD, inside of a Bluray, inside of a digital copy, inside of a dream, inside of BestBuy."

"How does a train eat? It goes chew-chew."