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Joke of the Day

"me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you...know how jobs work"

"Why did the Canadian die after eating at an Olive Garden in Texas? He ordered ""eh bowl a"" soup."

"Which fruit can never get married? Melons, because they can'telope."

"Why did the hipster drown? Because he went ice-skating before it was cool ( )"

"Some people passed away from toxic fumes in the apartments I constructed. I was just making the ceilings asbestos I could."

"Sometimes it's too hard to hate everyone all at once, so I hate people in shifts."

"Clown 2: Sorry man. You got outvoted by us, 42-1. We want to listen to ICP Clown 1: My VW Bug. I'm driving the carpool. It's Streisand."

"ME: Guess who was just promoted to be the new CEO! COWORKER: Amanda. ME: Why would you assume it's a man?"

"What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs? Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it."

"Why did Trump call for a ban on all llamas entering the US? because he isllamaphobic"