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Joke of the Day

"If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, no question, I would want to be alive."

"Probably the Grossest Joke I Know How do Vampires Make Tea? Used Tampons"

"Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings."

"I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie."

"Why do farts smell? so deaf people can enjoy them too."

"Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to."

"It was pretty hard to find a cheap way to get our son circumcised... ...But in the end we pulled it off."

"The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn."

"When I first got my student loans, I thought they were great. Now, they're outstanding!"

"""Nwbdy tellsh mwe wht to dwo"", I say through a mouthful of cardboard, giving a middle finger to ""remove pizza from box before consumption""."