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Joke of the Day

"The groom upon his engagement went to his father and said ""I've found a woman just like mother!"" His father replied ""So what do you want from me sympathy?"""

"Cows What do you call a cow on no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs? Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs? Your mom."

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines."

"Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States."

"The economy is so bad...."

"""Omelet you finish,"" -Kanyegg West"

"""Hello, this is Steve, my wife is listening."" - How I answer every phone call since my wife bought Bluetooth for my car."

"I said to my wife, 'Hey, I really love these new furry condoms.'' 'Bob, that's a cat.'"

"What do the LGBT community and computers have in common? Most people over 50 are scared of them and think they are destroying the fabric of society!"

"Praying: It's like wanting to help without actually having to help"