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Joke of the Day

"one of these days, johnny depp's scarves are going to rise up and destroy him"

"Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig."

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."

"How Long is a Chinamen? Yes he is."

"What does a curry and a bad uncle have in common? They both hurt your arsehole"

"I'm tired of the Mexicans naming their sons Jesus Jesus was not a Mexican, he was a human being. (Please forgive me)"

"I can't sleep in my bed anymore, my mind races thinking of all the stupid stuff I've done in the past. Stupid memory foam..."

"an elephant never forgets.. so my dick remembers everything. credit goes to Childish gambino."

"I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."

"How do you have a party in space? you Planet!"