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Joke of the Day

"one of these days, johnny depp's scarves are going to rise up and destroy him"

"How did the dictator make it easier for power companies to do business with neighboring countries? He stepped down."

"Being fat is just a giant trophy for all of the awesome food you ate."

"How does a blonde man get really rich,stupid and a candidate for president ? small loan of 100 million dollars"

"HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?"

"How to win an argument with a deaf girl? Turn off the lights."

"What ya call a lesbian with large fingers? Well hung!"

"When the police officer asks how much have I had to drink tonight- 'all of it' wasn't as funny to him as it was to me."

"How do Itallian chefs swap emails? By spaghett-e-mail!"

"Pavlov is sitting in a bar when a phone rings. He jumps of his chair and yells - ""Damn, I forgot to feed the dogs"""