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Joke of the Day

"Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat."

"Trump There's no punchline, as the title was the full joke"

"Why did Walmart go out of business in Iraq? Because there are too many targets."

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"So I was sitting on the toilet this morning... ...and I look over and see this huge spider. It scared the shit out of me."

"I accidentally said something that lead a girlfriend to believe I'm a lesbian... Must have been a slip of the tongue"

"Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies."

"Arguing with a woman is a lot like reading a license agreement By the end, you ignore everything and just click ""agree""."

"Two Condoms are walking past a gay bar... ... one turns to the other and says, ""Wanna go get shit faced?"""

"A steak pun is a rare medium well done"