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Joke of the Day

"Just watched two of my kids try and fail to open a cereal box so I've concluded that playing Mozart during pregnancy is bullshit."

"So me and my friends got in a ride with a student driver today... He knew how to get us to school in time."

"Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!"

"Why can't an orphan play baseball? It couldn't find home"

"A squirrel charged with murder, the detective ""did you do it?"", the squirrel ... ""no it was Nut me"""

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side. No offense."

"You have to chose between your SO and one million dollars. What is the first thing you would buy?"

"How do you make a coffee sad? You mocha..."

"Why was Jokeexplainbot angry? Because someone was pushing his buttons!"

"What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window."