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Joke of the Day
"GOODBYE WORK COMPUTER HELLO HOME COMPUTER"
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"I'm sorry' and I apologize' generally mean the same thing Except at Funerals"
"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."
"What does a leg do when it gets exasperated? It thighs."
"There are three types of people: 1. Annoying people 2. Annoying people I am sleeping with 3. People I haven't met"
"Gramps: *on deathbed* I feel like Im forgetting someth- *dies* [2 yrs later] Me: *knocking water outta my ears* *quarter falls out*"
"Guy stole my bike so I got in a cab & said follow that guy! He said sure, whats his twitter name? We laughed & hi-fived & I need a new bike."
"An Electric Field Walks up to a Dipole and asks, ""Do you have a moment?"""
"What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos? A messycan"
"Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!"