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Joke of the Day

"My Blonde wife just said to me ""Do men call it a penis 'cause it pees and goes in us?"""

"How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year? Not too well considering they can't finish a race."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose... Glutes( )"

"What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong? A mistake"

"Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses. Fortunately, my wife had the solution."

"Did you know? Did you know that babies, fresh from the womb, can see all around them for 10 seconds.....after they're decapitated"

"I heard the titanic got a new job... She sells sea shells down by the sea floor. I hear it's a pretty high pressure job."

"What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !"

"[date] Me: 'Don't let her know ur a boxing ring announcer...' Her: ""Shall we order dessert?"" Me: ""LET'S GET READY TO EAT APPLE CRUUUUMBLE!"""

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not five, my basement is still dark. (taken from this page: https://www.facebook.com/ImammahdidailyIII?fref=ts)"