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Joke of the Day

"A programmer's wife says: ""go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."" He returns with 12 loaves of bread."

"Who is the most communist cat in the world? Meow Zedong"

"Why Did it Take so Long to Legalize Gay Marriage? Because their priorities weren't straight."

"Honey, does the baby do parkour? ""No"" she says. He replies ""then he fell out the window""."

"I farted on the train and 4 people turned around. Felt like I was on The Voice. (Not an original joke)"

"I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in."

"*slams table WHY DID VILLAINS FROM SCOOBY-DOO ASSUME THEY'D GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IF NOT FOR MEDDLING KIDS THEY GOT CAUGHT BY A STONED DOG"

"Show someone you hate them by buying them an Edible Arrangement."

"I just found out that my pillow has a better sex life than me It gets head every night"

"truth is, nobody can parkour better than squirrels.. nobody"