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Joke of the Day

"Why is the grass greener in Ireland, than it is in England? It's because we are all over here in England, walking on your grass."

"What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar? ""Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"""

"Did you hear about the new condoms for frogs? They're rrrrribbet for her pleasure!"

"The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work."

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say ""um"""

"Mom called. She was worried. Thought maybe I moved because I haven't answered her email and she wouldn't know the new address to send it to."

"Whats the difference between blowing an Asian and a Caucasian. The only Asian thing that will touch the throat is the sperm."

"why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses"

"What did the grand child say to his drowning grandpa? Paddle Pop!"