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Joke of the Day

"why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses"

"Damn girl, are you a huge piece of shit? Because you just slid right out of my asshole."

"""Where's Waldo?"" books become more thrilling if you think ""Okay... Waldo's my brother and he's off his meds and will die if I don't find him."""

"Periodic joke Do you have any Nitrogen Monoxide jokes? NO"

"So a child molester and a priest walk into a bar.. And he's the only one there."

"What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick"

"A Swedish software company has created a new app that records and analyzes what you say during sleep. You can tell the app is working when it's mad at you the whole next day."

"AMA character from the Universal Studios Harry Potter world Really! I'm Sirius!"

"Romney likes Costco. So much that he bought 3."

"Sir, your resume is just a picture of you photoshopped into a quidditch match. No need for an interview, welcome to the White House"