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Joke of the Day
"Who has the biggest ass in the Kardashian family? Kim. She has Kanye."
Next Joke
"That's pretty cool that Mary Shelley wrote Heidi Montag's biography before she was even born. #Frankenstien"
"MAN: What are you doing? ME: [pointing gun at lake] Fishing MAN: No way will- SALMON: [walks out of lake with fins up]"
"""These diet pills better work,"" I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake."
"I tried throwing away my old boomerang but it keeps coming back"
"What do you call a flying bagel? A plane bagel."
"Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club Thank you all for coming."
"What do you call the Irish guy who always brings flan to the potluck? Shaun O'flanagan"
"How many Feminists does it take to change a Light Bulb? Two - One to change the Bulb and one to Blow Me"
"I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math."