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Joke of the Day

"Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective."

"An auk breathes from his ass One day he sits down and dies."

"The Ugly Hag by Ida Face"

"Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number? Everytime I call, a machine answers."

"It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged."

"At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours."

"What do you call someone who smokes two doobies at once? Double jointed. What do you call someone who can smoke three at once? Dead. Don't do drugs."

"Louis Lane ""there is no way broccoli is a superfood!"" Broccoli *takes spectacles off* Louis Lane ""My God! Look, it's a superfood!"""

"Just heard that someone has started digging Fidel Castro's grave.. Must be a communist plot."

"If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies."