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Joke of the Day

"A patriotic needle said: Don't thread on me."

"I don't care who dies in the movie but it better not be the dog."

"How much for these old batteries? For you? No charge."

"Maybe we should stop making ski masks since no one wears them except bank robbers."

"What do you call a dictatorship founded on the principles of Ethos, Logos & Pathos? An Aristotalitarian Regime."

"I always give 100% Which is why I was sacked from being an exam marker."

"What did one cheese say to the other? I know it's cheesy, but I feel grate!"

"The cops showed up earlier saying my dog was chasing some kid on a bike.. I was like that's ridiculous, my dog can't ride a bike"

"""Thanks for nothing, Evolution."" - Flightless Birds"

"What's the best part of being a necrophiliac? In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop."