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Joke of the Day
"A patriotic needle said: Don't thread on me."
Next Joke
"Shriek your Twitter name between songs at concerts and hope that it makes the live album."
"2010 prediction: Tiger Woods will leave golf entirely and begin a career in politics, where sex scandals are more widely accepted."
"My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba."
"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"
"In Germany, these are the three main fat groups: 1. Gesattigt Fett (Saturated Fat) 2. Trans Fett (Trans Fat) 3. Boba Fett"
"It's nothing serious, we're not dating or anything, we just sometimes get brunch together, were just Friends with Benedict."
"I got banned from the sperm bank the other day... They said I couldn't come within five hundred feet of the building."
"I waited a long time for my testicles to descend When one finally did I had an inaugural ball"
"In my will I am leaving everything to the imagination."