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Joke of the Day

"I want to die like my Grandpa: peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."

"You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, ""No one will ever believe you."""

"My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette.."

"Ambidextrous baseball players... Swing both ways"

"Did you hear about the shooting at the blind school? They never saw it coming."

"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"

"Recently girls have been mistaking me as British, It's because, honey, when I nut, ""Cheerio!"""

"Sh*t happens... I mean look at you."

"Why do black guys only have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream"

"Had to fire my personal Trainer. He dint do squat."