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Joke of the Day
"Let's find some common ground so I can tell you my fucking life story."
Next Joke
"How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes."
"Been trying to pair my new phone with the Bluetooth in the car and I think it's easier to get pandas to mate."
"Sure laying me down on a ""Bed of Roses"" sounds all romantic and shit, but I much rather lay on a bed of fries and onion rings."
"However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight."
"I wonder what Twitter employees do at work to waste time"
"My parents always said no drugs before marriage After that.... they just understood."
"What kind of cancer was Jar Jar diagnosed with? Meesathelioma."
"If you've been married less than a year, stop with all the love and marriage quotes. S hit will eventually hit the fan..."
"Earth's scientists have discovered that sheep are smarter than most primates. This explains why not a lot of sheep tune in to Jersey Shore."