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Joke of the Day
"How do you know that Beyonce is a hardcore programmer? VB ALL NIGHT!!!!!"
Next Joke
"How do you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you later."
"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"
"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"On went on a cruise last week and fell into... the Aft hole. I was stuck in that aft hole for two weeks. Source: Impractical Jokers"
"sorry i'm still an undecided voter, but it's hard to pick just one when I love them both so very very much"
"If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback. I'll let myself out."
"The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place."
"I don't drink and drive..... I only drink at stop signs and red lights."
"Having identical twins is great because if you misplace one you have a second copy."