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Joke of the Day

"Which President had the shortest term? Grover Cleveland. He was the twenty second President."

"What did Sting say to his proctologist? Don't stand so close to me."

"I asked a nerd what his New Year's resolution was. He said, ""1920x1080""."

"A horse walks into a police station Policeman says ""Why the long face?"" Horse replies ""I've just witnessed a murder"" [True story](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834)"

"If only the Olympics had an event that involved falling down and not spilling your drink..."

"Tim Vine came up to me. I said,""Hey, you're Time Vine!"" He said,""My name's not Tim Vine, it's Timbuktu."" He paused. ""Sorry, I was miles away."""

"What's small, purple and dangerous? A grape with a gun"

"I was going to tell an ISIS joke but then I lost my head."

"I just found out I had sex with a monkey in a previous life You cant blame me though because it was really long ago, and I was the first Human that wasnt fully a monkey myself."

"The national bird of Syria is.. ..a drone."