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Joke of the Day

"What's small, purple and dangerous? A grape with a gun"

"My clients have a 86% survival rate, which makes me an above-average babysitter."

"What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It's ele-mentary my dear Sherlock !"

"I bought a white bathrobe and splattered it with red paint just to freak out my neighbors when I go get the mail."

"[China] ""You have to get good grades"" KID: But it's so hard! ""We're Can-tonese not Cant-tonese"" KID: You gotta admit that's a bit confusing"

"There is simply no need to add ""NSFW"" in your bio. This is twitter. None of us have jobs."

"What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? When you get a divorce you get rid of the whole prick."

"What do women and Slinkies have in common? Not much, but you can't help but crack a smile when see some tumbling down the stairs."

"""Traaains"" - traveling zombies"

"I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use ""sliced bread"" as our basis for great inventions."