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Joke of the Day

"[Terrorist tears open undercover FBI agent's jacket] Terrorist: FBI? Agent: uhhh Terrorist: hey guys this dude is a Female Body Inspector"

"I spilled spot-remover on my dog... ...and now he's gone. :("

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."

"There are more and more suicide bombers around nowadays isn't there... then again... also less and less."

"You can't spell ""A.D.D."" without ""hey what is that is that some Go-Gurt"""

"I'm surprised they didn't make an all-female Ghost Busters sooner... Busting ghosts at three quarters on the dollar? What a savings!"

"How do you insult a Catholic? Any way you like, they have to forgive you!"

"Geology rocks"

"I'm planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not."

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"