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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between tulips and roses? roses hurt when your dick is between them."

"How was copper wire invented? Two Armenians were fighting over a Penny."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender."

"[iphone vibrates] 3yo: daddy someone is texting you [landline phone rings] 3yo: what is that sound?"

"""I don't get why our troops need to wear camouflage, when they could just wear glasses..."" -Superman"

"Someday I want to write a book titled ""The most erogenous spelling errors"". *erroneous"

"Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?.... because they cant find the point."

"Please don't post a screenshot if your battery percentage is low, I can't focus on the picture because your low battery is stressing me out."

"My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies"

"Q: What's an educated hole in the wall? A: A wisecrack."