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Joke of the Day

"*gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*"

"What Would The Rocks Boyfriend Be Called? Fruity Pebble.."

"I once had a dog, that no matter what I tried to teach him, he only ever learned the the command ""shake"". He had Barkinson's disease."

"What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows? Survivor guilt."

"i've always struggled spelling out ""blood"" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like ""bbool"""

"north carolina to sue over bathroom bill hillary: stop calling him that"

"China must be a huge sausage-fest by now."

"What do dyslexic sysadmins eat for breakfast? Cronflakes."

"""How about know"" -existentialist teen"

"Did you hear about the depressed lactose-intolerant woman? She committed soya-cide."