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Joke of the Day

"Why are Apple products popular with hipsters? Steve Jobs went underground."

"I saw a smart car get hit with a snow ball today, yep, it was totalled!"

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"Earlier today I had a Titanic thought. It was *unthinkable*."

"If I had a dollar every time Trump said something stupid... I'd have a small loan of a million dollars."

"What, like you never stole 2000 loaves of bread on a dare? Shit happens. Look, Grandma, can you bail me out or not?"

"I HAD A PANIC ROOM INSTALLED AND THEN I CAME IN AND NOW I'M TERRIFIED TO LEAVE OMG WHY DID I DO THIS?!"

"What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill? The penguin who pushed him!"

"A hotdog and a hamburger are haveing a pooping contest... The hamburger is winning. In order to ketchup, the hotdog mustard."

"Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend."