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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon balls."
Next Joke
"wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!"
"This year for Lent, I'm just giving up."
"TIL DNA was supposed to be a line But things spiraled of control"
"I keep forgetting - which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"
"I've been making a list of reasons to move to Switzerland... the flag is big plus."
"Three guys walk into a bar. They pretend to hear each other for two hours and then go home"
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a 6-offender."
"How is a lonely twig like a piece of cling wrap? He can only stick to himself."
"As a responsible parent, I gave my kids a healthy breakfast of strawberries w/ milk & a little sugar... frozen. OK IT WAS ICE CREAM! FitFam?"